Life is so complex and moves so quickly- people make choices, get married, have kids, buy property. Something about the permanency of all that scares me. I can't do it. Its way too much commitment. I keep thinking that maybe someday my attitude will change- the right condo will come along or the right person but so far- nothing. I don't know if its perfectionism or fear or just the way I'm built but it seems so odd in comparison to the rest of our society.
Lately, I'm not so happy with my work life. It's 8:30 in the morning and I log onto the computer, start working. Next thing I know, its 1 in the afternoon and I'm going out to get lunch then a blur until I stop around 4:30. It feels like "where did my whole day just go?" I don't think this is how I was designed to live.
Lately too, my energy is zapped. I feel blah, flat. It's a cold weather thing, I think. I have little energy to be around people. It takes a lot of energy to interact, mostly because I'm introverted by nature. I hate making plans. There have been people who I've never made plans with and still spent a lot of time with. We had a lot of last minute dinners and movies and art events. It was good for me that way.
