Monday, July 27, 2009

The Saddest Thing about Relationships


At first thought the saddest thing about romantic relationships seems to be their ending, but that isn't the saddest part for me. The saddest part occurs afterward that- when there is no more contact, when the other person doesn't want to ever speak to me again. I feel like Ive spent months with this person, had endless conversation, with them, opened up my heart and my home and then, poof, its like they never existed, like they died, really. The absolute worst part is that sometimes the friendship was really positive and fun. Good times were had, laughs were abundant, but these are forever gone. Sometimes I've wished I had never taken the relationship further than friendship but then I quickly realize that the other persons feelings would have gotten in the way and even if I hadn't crossed the line (which usually happens because of my ravenous curiosity) the friendship wouldn't have sustained.
There have been cases where I knew the other person couldn't remain friends because their feelings were too intense. Then there have been the cases where I felt like the other person just didn't care enough to remain friends- these can be particularly painful. Then there is the rare case when the person is willing to remain friends, but the sexual tension is too great and I can practically feel them resisting, white-knuckling it.
It seems that everything goes through its own mutation and all of this just reminds me of the impermanence of life, how everything changes and the best we can do is adapt.